He Makes Me Brave // New Website

Far too often I let fear and uncertainty dictate my life. It has caused me to make poor decisions or miss out on something important too many times.

This time last year a man very dear to me, practically a second father, was losing the fight against cancer. I was already here on the island at that point so I couldn’t see him, but I had access to a phone. All I had to do was call – but I was scared. Scared of how he would sound. Uncertain of what to say. Terrified to say goodbye because of what saying goodbye would mean. I was afraid to let him hear me cry, that it would be selfish in the midst of his suffering. So I kept putting the call off.

He died on March 25th, 2014.

I never got to say goodbye or tell him I loved him one last time. To this day I find myself breaking down out of sorrow and guilt whenever I think about it. All because I let fear and uncertainty take over.

I feel as if some of the words I write are often inspiration from God with the purpose of sharing them with others. However, when it is all written or typed out I find myself hiding it away or clicking “Save Draft” rather than “Publish”. I find myself fearful that I didn’t write it well enough to convey my thoughts. Nervous that what I wrote isn’t doctrinally perfect. And most often I worry that the many mistakes I have made in my life well prevent people from reading the words and taking them to heart, and instead they will view me as a hypocrite and turn away.

The song “You Make Me Brave” has been stuck in my head for weeks! Normally if I listen to a song that is stuck on replay in my head it will help silence it. I have listened to this song by Bethel Music more times than I can count and rather than my brain coming up with a new song to sing to myself as I cook these words have been drilled into my memory…

As your love, in wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For you are for us
You are not against us
Champion of Heaven
You made a way for all to enter in

You make me brave
You make me brave
You call me out beyond the shore into the waves
You make me brave
You make me brave
No fear can hinder now the love that made a way

I don’t know why it took me so long to find the meaning in the words I have been singing daily. How can I let fear hinder me when I have the Champion of Heaven on my side? The words “you call me out beyond the shore into the waves” reminds me of when Jesus walked on the water of the lake in Matthew 14. Peter of course desired to be out on the water with Jesus – and that’s exactly what he did! But, when he took his eyes off Jesus and began to focus on his fear of the water and the wind he started to sink. Isn’t that exactly what fear does to us? If we don’t fight it off it drowns us. We just need to cry out “Lord, save me!” like Peter, and He will reach His hand out and save us.

In my Lent Study with She Reads Truth we have been reading in Lamentations. It amazes me the amount of pain and suffering happening to them, yet out of it all the author doesn’t get lost in fear or doubt. He has faith that God will redeem them.

My life is a constant work in progress – but someday I hope to have that level of faith. Until then I will focus not on the drowning power of fear, but instead on the wave after wave of God’s love that is crashing down on me. The fact that during those times of fear and uncertainty I have a Savior that I can call out to who will pull me through it.

So here it is. Attempt #1 at overcoming fear’s hold on me. A new website (: This will be a centralized hub for all my Jesus ramblings, updates on our life, my photography and my graphic design work. Bookmark it, follow it, share it, comment, etc. – I love to hear from people!

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